Budapest (revisited)

This post is not about my visit at Budapest, but rather an indeed technical experience I did, before heading to the city in which I took the photographs I am about to show you.

This idea came up with a conversation with Sofia, where she wondered about the outcome of a 35mm film with perforations (like the many holga cameras do allow) this match sparkled a burst of ideas and little tweaks I could attempt to do and make an experience with it.

I got some rolls of T-Max 3200, got the 120 film holders, tape, 120 paper carrier and in a closed closet, where I stayed for about 20 minutes, trying to fit the 35mm onto the medium format protection paper.

And there not much else you could possibly need. All to be assertive is making sure the film is correctly put onto the new medium, roll it back nice, tight and leak-less of light, put it on the camera and be ready to shoot!

The next thing to have in consideration is where you are on the actual location and you get a good spot or moment to take a memory of. I was shooting with a Rolleiflex T, and because the camera I was using is different from the film I carried, what you see on the screen is not actually what is going to get embodied on the film (6x6) but more like a panoramic image ration, with the addition of labels, such as film type, shoot number and sprocket holes.

When the rolls were shot and I was back to London again, it was time for process and scan them. The process was the old fashioned three-step develop way that, according to the chart list, I saw the times required to make a good development. Scanning however was a rather different story. Because of the size of the film, the film holders for scanners do not exist, hence making us to find ways of doing the thing around. But it can be as simple as putting the 35mm on a 120mm film holder, and now you can see the wholesome of your pictures!

Budapest - the last hours

Being this the last day in the hungarian capital, I stood aware that this should be remembered no as something remarkable but an opportunity to see new corners of Buda of to re-visit places to me not yet seen quite right... or even unrealised wishes light that was keept but in the mind.

Heading to the same place has I fist went to Natalia's uni but this time leaving at the tram station over the river, from there I hence walked to Buda side, to see what wonders this place could keep safe for me.

Having had some less trouble minded event around, I was cautious not to provoque the same kind of attitudes towards me, even though I felt that this time things would work differently - which they did, happily.

As light was walking down the sky, I remembered of a very nice hill that could be of a very good spot to concretise the bus ride view. And thus, from the tram station, I walked, going under the bridge, towards the rail station, to there walk up some roads and get lost, once more.

The road went up, and up it went. People, walk-passing me looked oddly, as if to reject my existence there, as I was heading up and up more. Some houses looked beautifully abandoned, with looks of very potential making projects for occupations or social developments, but yet that was not the reason to why I was there; thus I went up a little more. 

Then, at some point, after turning left and right again, a flight of stairs appeared to me-self and after those, the road gave room to trees and an icy, muddy treek that I imagined to lead to the vey top of the hill. Yet, as the top revealed to myself and the openness of the space, trees were stopping me from achieving this wish of mine from a few days ago. So, after a bit of walking, I quit and went down.

However, going down made me thing of climbing up a pine tree that look strong enough to handle my height.  I did tried, a few times, but branches kept cracking and I decided not to take the risk of falling down from it and break my bones, thus making me wonder if this would be the end of it...

Still, as I was doing the back direction, I saw Budapest again, only to see that the view I was looking for was the opposite direction from where I had came! And in the very next moment, I saw a path going along the line of the river! So, without hesitating a bit, with the sunny warm lights turning down, trying to get covered by some stormy winter cold clouds I ran, as fast and slow as I could to avoid not slipping on the ice and then... a wall showed to me. I got closer from it only to see it was fenced. With some gloves on, I tried to climb it but the view wasn't still the one I wanted; still to many trees. Went down and ran along it, only to see road again. This road was of a car park, and bellow it, as the hill was going down (not the car park) I saw an open spot. The will was a bit step and with my bag on my back, cold in my hands, and a fading sun, I went down. Grabbing the branches I did one step down; a second one and... a jump. Put my arms around a tree and, like in a illumination, walked, believing that this was going to be the right place to be and do it. Putting the branches away and as I went down the last one stopping me from getting there, a light shone on... it was light magic.

Magic that felt different from the bus journey, for sure, but still worth all the trouble, if you want to call it, to be there, and get there. As a result, I had a photograph and a big smile on my face! ^^

I then went down the hill but to get to the same rail station were I was confronted by the bourrée man. But this time, no drunk man was around, apart from the same man, near the stairs heading to the station, selling chestnuts wrapped in newspaper.

From there, I head to the center, only to be confronted by the freezing wind that was accompanying the misty clouds. A warm minus four degrees was making my nose turn red, and my hands felt like freezing, even though we have had worst temperatures felling way warmer than the one I was feeling. Not bearing the cold, I head back home, at the break-of-day to chill out and enjoy the last couple of hours in Budapest with the people that had host me, pack everything nice and calmly and get ready for a very long journey back.

Still, there I was, with cold hands, but content in my whole self. If you ask me was it worth it... damn worth it was! Everything is worth the shot, even if to say in the end... well, I'm not gonna go there again. And Budapest is a place I am definitely going back to again!!

And for now, we stay here. 

The Christmas Party

The night of this Saturday was a merry special one. Because it would be the last time all the Erasmus students here in Budapest from Natalia, Adriana and Paula's uni were going to be together, so it became set that this date would be a dinner party! Everyone cooked something (majorly from their mother country) to share a last gathering time with lots of world culture in between.

From cakes, to cookies, soup... even some deserts...! this was a dinner that had nothing but full table. Everyone was merry and so did our stomachs. Many and broad were the conversations and, for me, who was sort of like an outsider, this gave me an opportunity to meet some new more people and share some histories!

Many, many hours later, sleepiness already was ashore - some from the Polish night, others just from exhaustion and fatigue. Almost everyone had already left, but some still remained. As we were about to leave for a failed attempt to go to a bar, I looked back and saw them, chit chatting with each other, wondering how longer would these crazy people leave to allow them some well deserved rest. Still, just before we all left, I managed to grab this instant of the Three Marias, with an eye resting, the other half-asleep, but very merry indeed.

And for now, we stay here.

Portuguese Pest's day; Polish Buda's evening

This day, for a change, was not particularly hungarian. To say more, it was a very portuguese day! Not for the things we did, but for the company, that was only portuguese. Me and Natalia met Maria (a Natalia's friend from Lisbon) to have lunch, at a simple, cheap yet delicious chinese restaurant, where we had Ramen. However, my struggle to heat with the sticks was too much and I only managed to eat half of what was served. Don't worry though, for the rest came home to be eaten later.

After lunch, light was already fading, and Maria suggested a Tea house called Sirius - the country -, stating to be very cosy, friendly and very nice to spend some time together and hang around. And following her lead, we marched.

After a quick journey on the metro, we left. Facing the fresh breeze and cold air, we walked and in no time we arrived. Hidden enough not to be accidentally found, if not only but the frosted glass that adorned the door entrance. Going down a flight of stairs and another door, we would go inside of what seemed like a tea house playground! Let me explain why. The house had three separate rooms. One with regular tables and chairs, like a café, and the other two with low tables, likewise the Oriental style, pillows to seat on and this area was non-shows only, which I found very homy. With small rooms and second levels for people to "hide" in and be, if that's the case, be in a very intimate, isolated room, just for themselves. And it was in this tea house playground that we sat down, had a hot drink and chat for hours and hours, untile we lost notion of time...

When the night was getting serious, we head home, made some dinner and went with Adriana, whose brother and three friends had just arrived on the same day, to one of her friend's house, to have a Polish night. What is a Polish night, you might ask? According to Polish tradition, Vodka is a common drink, like water is to some countries (just kidding). So, its nothing but natural that we, being in a Polish house, with more than many Poland natives, drank water until we all became very merry!

And for now, we stay here ^^

Buda's in trouble

After a good night of proper rest, and not having done any plans for what I would see in Budapest yet, I took a quick snack. At the same time Adriana came and asked me what I intended to do for the day, to which she suggested, after telling her about not having made plans yet, to go with her to her and Natalia's university to have a look over the side of Buda for a change and on the way back, head to the Castle - one of her best places in the city.

Having agreed to do it straight away, we left the Jozef Körút to head to the north west side of Buda. After taking the tram and a connecting busz to the uni, I there waited, while Adriana was waiting for her signatures. Meanwhile, I came outside, to see the abouts of this area of Buda, some of the work there exhibited by the students. What surprised me was that her university work collaboratively with Mercedes Benz, which I find amazing for all interested in industrial design! A few people were making keeping a fire alive under ruffly zero degree temperatures to make , far away, but their happiness and simpleness could be felt at an immense distance.

When Adriana came and we head back, I looked to an old, abandoned like house filled with wholes on the walls. Interested in what they could be, I questioned her, to which she responded as it being an house, still standing from the second world war whose wholes were actually marks of loose shots... it made shiver and feel a little uncomfortable; but we were just heading to the bus stop to get back. But this was just the beginning...

From here on, everything took a different path. Adriana went hope and gave me directions to go to Buda Castle. Take the 16 and it will take you there, she said; and so I did, or I thought to have done. Instead, I got on another bus that went all the way up to the very end of the hill. It almost felt like I was entering the mountains, covered in snow, with a very rusty tram line running along. At that same time, the sun came out and shone Peste with the most intense, warm colours. Me, astonished, didn't even thought about the way I was taking. My only thought was how wonderful this view is and where could I manage a spot were I could make a photograph of this beauty. So, with an adrenaline pump in my body, I waited and waited, while the bus was turning to the left and right again, to find an open space that would give me just the tip to press stop and leave to make it real. However, the hill is very forestry and the houses were built around them, in a very humane way, thus making it impossible to have a clear view over what I was seeing but still, I did manage to get pumped enough to look around on the other hills for possible ways to get this picture which hopefully will happen before I leave Budapest.

Anyhow, went the up-going bus became levelled, that was when I decided to leave. Not because I had just found the spot but because I had went to far from the castle, which I saw on the map to be very close to the river. And I was not at all close to the river, I was lost!

After exiting the bus, I took the first road to the left and started heading down a row of icy, snowed stairs and, with the help of an dodgy handrail, for a few time I didn't felt on them. Still, my head was thinking about the light that I had just witnessed and so, despite the slippery stairs, I kept looking for a trace of openness, without any positive outcome. Nonetheless, being lost in a place that was outside the map I had been given made me feel quite alive and free. Breathing the fresh, wintery cold air was making my hand turn red and my nose was making me look like Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer. Yet, I carried along, and down, and left until I found what seemed to be the main road which the bus I came up in took. Crossing the tram line and the road, I waited for the bus to come. When it finally arrived, it looked alike the one I had took to come this way. I was wrong again. Thinking I would go to Széil Kálman ter, I ended more to the south, near Déli Rail Station.

Again, a new place, no way to find my way on the map. No references and still shy about asking people for directions, because of my mental blocage, I walked around it, in hopes to find some signs that would put me on the direction - not the right one anymore - of the river, from which I would be able to find my north again. And it did indeed happen! A sign, with a smal icon of a castle, was pointing to the right side of the rail station. Encouraged again, I walked towards a tunnel, only to find a broomstick that reminded me in it's very own way of 'Soliloquy of the Broom', a photograph taken in 1843 by William Fox Talbot. Not hesitating a bit, I grabbed my camera and got ready to make my photograph. Kneeled down, I was just about to presse the button when I felt a kick on my back. Surprised, I quickly took the photograph, stood up and turned back, to see what had just happened, while thinking 'Who the fuck, and why, just kicked me?!' only to see a mid age, grizzly man breathing alcohol and shouting words in hungarian that I will not ever now which meaning had. Still, the kick had made it's statement and knowing that trying to speak would not solve anything, I said some words in my very own portuguese and carried on my way. 

Quite an intense beginning of a journey, I would say. The kick itself didn't bothered me more than the look on the mans face. It felt that the anger he had had not been put to me, personally but for the condition of the man. I'm not with this saying at all what a gap exists between us (which doesn't) but in my naïve way, why would someone do such a thing to a kneeled person...

Scared and afraid to take the camera out... angry for what had just happend, I went up an assembly of stairs, towards the Castle and only at the end of them, after around 10 minutes, I was able to get enough strength to take it out again. Seing what were some castle walls, I went round in hopes to find an entrance to its inside. Finding some more stairs, I went ever upper, only to face myself with a large, clean balcony, from which I took a panorama of the scenery where this losness had taken place; where all my insecurity lied. But also where all my humanness was and the motif of my photography lied.

Turning back, for now, that side, I went to the 'touristy' part of Budapest. The fancy, historical and beautiful part of it. Very silent and still absorbing all the information that I had just gotten, walked around Mathias Church, closed already at that time but still, plenty were the tourists walking around. And me, being there and having such disturbing experience just now, felt the act of traveling and all the smily faces of the ones around very hypocrite, just like me being there was.

All that show off, all those poses of the people, the need to record and justify to others that they existed in that place; all the richness mask of what a city really is... it is not  only the fanciness and beautifulness of their past... everyone can loose their material richness in a blink of an eye. However, the people still remain and the people make the city soul. They are what define it, not their buildings, materialist expressions of an utopian disguise. 

Let the past be past, but never forget it. It is the past that shape you, but no materiality should define you, but your actions. And thus, I made this photograph, thinking of what Socrates said once: "How many are the things I can do without!".

These words were not being shouted to them, but also for be, for I was being as much of a sinner as the ones around me. However, such thought are in my mind and I shall not leave them aside, for I shall make amends for the actions I am making, hopefully soon.

And if my actions can't make amends yet, let my attempts of photographs and words try to reach someone. For if I can touch even if a single person, I'd find myself a happy living man.

And for now, we stay here.